12-26-11
Murder
I dreamed that apparently I had murdered one or two people, apparently a long time ago, and that I was afraid that somehow someone might now find where I buried the bodies. I think I knew who the people I killed were, and it must have been some time ago as I was imagining that if found, they would be skeletons. I remember being so worried that this would be found out.
This is not the first dream of this nature. Several months ago I dreamed that I had apparently murdered someone who I think had come against my family. In that dream I felt that I buried them and hid them in the back yard of a former home we have not lived in for a couple of years ago. I was afraid that new owners would find the bodies and that I would get caught. This dream was so real to me that I asked my wife if she knew of anything I might have done.
Both these dreams are troubling to me.
Murder
The Word says that hatred is as if we have murdered or killed.
The dreams would denote perhaps if you had held any angst against anyone, it was long ago.
Maybe unforgiveness toward people that had truly wronged you, or that you perceived so. ????
& That is what immediately came to mind.
If so, the Lord will bring this to the surface and let you know who it might have been.
*Example:
My first husband was a very angry person. He wa also very violent. Very violent. The last time that I was beaten I was pregnant (not showing) and woke in a hospital with the police force removing articles of clothing and taking pictures.
I know now God could had even put all that back together. But- we were messed up (obviously) and our own wills took us a different path.
It ended in divorce after about two decades and five children.
But---- long after we were living in separate houses, the divorce over for probaably 2-4 years, he came to my then house. We still had kids in school and I'mnot sure what it was about, but very quickly went to him telling me what I needed to be doing . . . .
I remember that day vividly because I cried . . . and I apologized for my part. And- I asked him, almost begging really----if he would just "let me have a life!"
I don't know what God did. He did something. -Because- his glare seemed to go from my face down to the cross I was wearing and back to my face and back to that cross . . . *Maybe it was on fire---but he seemed fixated. He quickly left after that.
But- when he left, I sobbed. & All the hurt and pain I felt came up---like we were right back where we had been all those many years.
Then the Lord spoke to me. & asked, WHY --- why, if "I" had truly forgiven him . . . did all that hurt come up as if it was still happening to me. ------ and reminded me, that it was not. & The minute I heard this, was also thew minute "I just knew" I had not truly let it go . . . and in essence, had not truly forgiven him.
But that moment He brought it to my attention, is the moment I could truly let it go. & Truly forgive him.
& Now I could tell anyone, in great detail if need be, every awful story that ever truly took place . . . without anger, without hurt and without blame . . .
I think we (he and I) BOTH needed what God brought that day.
Anyway, just for thought.
God bless.
The dreams would denote perhaps if you had held any angst against anyone, it was long ago.
Maybe unforgiveness toward people that had truly wronged you, or that you perceived so. ????
& That is what immediately came to mind.
If so, the Lord will bring this to the surface and let you know who it might have been.
*Example:
My first husband was a very angry person. He wa also very violent. Very violent. The last time that I was beaten I was pregnant (not showing) and woke in a hospital with the police force removing articles of clothing and taking pictures.
I know now God could had even put all that back together. But- we were messed up (obviously) and our own wills took us a different path.
It ended in divorce after about two decades and five children.
But---- long after we were living in separate houses, the divorce over for probaably 2-4 years, he came to my then house. We still had kids in school and I'mnot sure what it was about, but very quickly went to him telling me what I needed to be doing . . . .
I remember that day vividly because I cried . . . and I apologized for my part. And- I asked him, almost begging really----if he would just "let me have a life!"
I don't know what God did. He did something. -Because- his glare seemed to go from my face down to the cross I was wearing and back to my face and back to that cross . . . *Maybe it was on fire---but he seemed fixated. He quickly left after that.
But- when he left, I sobbed. & All the hurt and pain I felt came up---like we were right back where we had been all those many years.
Then the Lord spoke to me. & asked, WHY --- why, if "I" had truly forgiven him . . . did all that hurt come up as if it was still happening to me. ------ and reminded me, that it was not. & The minute I heard this, was also thew minute "I just knew" I had not truly let it go . . . and in essence, had not truly forgiven him.
But that moment He brought it to my attention, is the moment I could truly let it go. & Truly forgive him.
& Now I could tell anyone, in great detail if need be, every awful story that ever truly took place . . . without anger, without hurt and without blame . . .
I think we (he and I) BOTH needed what God brought that day.
Anyway, just for thought.
God bless.God isn't looking for perfect vessels, simply willing ones . . .